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Other => Found it on the Webs => : p_2001 September 05, 2012, 12:47:35 PM

: the hell situation
: p_2001 September 05, 2012, 12:47:35 PM
The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
: Re: the hell situation
: Phage September 05, 2012, 02:16:27 PM
That is fucking genius! This is the most badass answer i have ever seen. Thank you for sharing this!
+1
: Re: the hell situation
: namespace7 September 05, 2012, 02:51:54 PM
That made me laugh so hard that I even considered going down on the floor.
+1
: Re: the hell situation
: p_2001 September 05, 2012, 04:51:02 PM
Lol.. ^^
Yes this answer is  perhaps the most badass...
Just had to post it :)

Whoever wrote it was a genius..

Apparently it isn't all that interesting.. Only 53 views
: Re: the hell situation
: th3g00n September 06, 2012, 08:38:29 AM
Apparently it isn't all that interesting.. Only 53 views
Not many people with the intellectual capacity to understand or appreciate this. Like me.
: Re: the hell situation
: iTpHo3NiX September 06, 2012, 08:41:15 AM
Not many people with the intellectual capacity to understand or appreciate this. Like me.

Or the ability to actually read it... I read it thought it was fucking hilarious so I read it aloud to my chick lol... Got a good laugh out of it ;)