Poem (Volkie)

[rasenove]

That was pretty good. I likey xD
And...

Marg
Long time ago, when magic was rare,
I met a girl with long black hair.
Her name was simple and very nice,
To be her friend had no prize.
Her soul was so untouched and pure,
That love she give made me endure.
She helped me find magic that I had lost,
It was like melting memorise hidden in frost.
When I fell down and loset my fate,
She lift me up and told me I was great.
Your Her smile can be an addictive drug,
All I am asked for was one small hug.
There was no goal that she could not reach,
That's why she was the greatest witch.
I must tell you that she was extremly smart,
Just remeber you are always a part of my heart.

This one blew my nuts off lol. Dude, why'd you have to time travel?

[geXXos]

Well some times the theme makes the difference, i must say i like this more than the first one. Although witches is not my thing, i like it, somehow makes you think, it draws the words in my mind and i visualize what the poet(you) describes.

The first lines are great, this line though """I must tell you that you are extremly smart""" could be replaced with something else, imo.

[Architect]

We are all lovers at heart. No matter race, creed, knowledge, attitude. +1

[geXXos]

@rasenove

Poets do use their own words or expressions/idioms etc. so i believe some grammar mistakes are allowed in poetry. Imo.

[proxx]

@rasenove

Poets do use their own words or expressions/idioms etc. so i believe some grammar mistakes are allowed in poetry. Imo.

Incorrect grammar can be used to express things that no correct sentense would ever be able to do.
I have writte a fair deal myself and the abuse of language can be a powerfull thing.

[rasenove]

A language doesn't follow the rules of it's grammar, the grammar just explains the language so that people can use it properly.

But breaking a grammar rules has to be done in a way that people will consider it as a 'trend' rather turning it against you and smash you're poetry spirit.

[Code.Illusionist]

It is true that I made some mistakes because I wanted to be somehow more "musical" which I can't pull out with correctly grammar. But it's good resenove correct me =) .

@resenove : Somehow I didn't understood your last question. Could you ask in different way
@geXXos: True, I could use something else, but keep it in mind that all this poems I wrote down at around 3-4 am. That's the time I feel creative mostly.
@Architect: True statement right there =) .

[rasenove]

@resenove : Somehow I didn't understood your last question. Could you ask in different way

You started writing in past tense, then present, and then went back to past.

[Code.Illusionist]

Oh, well I guess that's something I don't see =)

[Traitor4000]

I guess I will put in my two cents on Marg. Before I say anything else I should say I prefer poems with little rhyming. I find lots of rhyming to seem forced and unnatural. If I did like rhyming I probably would have liked it more.

[Code.Illusionist]

Thank you Traitor4000. It's true, some of us like lot of rymeing , some don't. Therefor there can't be good poem for everyone. That's understandable. =)