I'm no artist, I used to draw a lot but it's been years since I've drawn.. honestly, you've got a great start but for working on that for 5 hours, you could have done much better. However, it's mostly in the eyes. The hair is great, I love it, but your eyes need a lot of work such as being the same size and being in line. Also maybe a different nose, since you're going with a manga style then maybe have it pointier.