Didn't really expect to see any answers to that, but, as it turns out, I got one from Darkvision. Here was his answer:
taco bell + red beans and rice + constipation + fire= assplosion
^
you only said an equation, NOT a mathmatical equation.
Now to address the survival and sciency part.
First off we need to understand what an explosion is. So gonna KISS this and just thus: an explosion is simply something that burns, often in a confined space. For instance gun powder is a very slow explosive. if you get ahold of some(fire crackers or take a bullet apart) pour it into a little pile on a piece of paper and set it on fire it will simply burn... no big "bang" what makes that bang happen is that it burns in a confined space. Even with high powered explosives(HE) they are relatively harmless when set off unconfined. Go search for a video of say pitrick acid being set off open air vs inside say a "container" like a pen. HUGE difference in power. The reason for that is that confinement works to increase the power of an explosion. Fun side note here, this is how multi stage nuklear devices work, since nothing can contain a nuklear bomb except a nuklear bomb.....they set off one to compress/set off the other(generally with a higher strength atomic bond) this increases the yield exponentially for a few reasons, one as stated above the other is that more fizzable material gets used and theirfor changes the yield up exponentialy. Kind of also want to explain how multiple yield warheads work...but this is getting to far off topic...
Anyway now that we have some idea of what constitutes an explosive/how they work, we can get into how you could technicly blow up your ass AND survive. Hell you might not even need a doctor afterword.
So a straw(medium sized diameter, hard plastic) insert in anal cavity. Get a flammable gas(wd40 or hairspray for instance) use the smaller straw that comes with the bottle to go inside of the larger straw, spray a SMALL amount up the straw. Light on fire. the space is confined enough, with enough air to allow for a small but survivable explosion in your anus. Probably some light burns to sphincter cheeks and end part of your intestines. Note this should be done after 24 hour period of not eating/cleansing to remove excess methane/shit etc for greater safety. Dont forget to remove the straw right after as well to ensure you deprive the environment of oxygen after. I should also note that even after a cleanse you will still have some excess methane seeping from your walls, just not a large amount, so you would still be exploding with the power of your own farts, just using the wd40 as a catalyst. If you want to go insane on this idea, then stick a suction hose up your rear and suck everything out shit/methane, compress it and then blow the compressed gas(small amount of it) back up in your ass for this experiment. Though i should mention you are more likely to seriously hurt yourself forcibly sucking out all the excess shit/gas in your intestines than you are going with my first way.....
Ok so it might not be exactly what you are looking for but can i get like a secondary door prize of like 10$ or something? Oh and this better show up on the thread! 
Pretty good, what do you guys think.
